Tuesday 23 February 2010

Lets Get . . . . . . Motivated

By Jenetta Haim, courtesy of www.thinkbigmagazine.com. For more information check out her website at www.stressfreemanagement.com.au

Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?

Do you have control of your thinking or does your thinking have control of you? Often it is the latter. How many times have you had good intentions, decided to go for that interview, apply for that promotion, start that business and then deflated like a rubber doll back into your shell?

It happens to the best of us and it's important to keep our thinking positive if we want to remain motivated. Positive thinking encourages healthy behavior such as eating properly, exercising and generally being happier with life in the office, socially and on a personal level. It all comes down to what you believe. If you believe in yourself and envision what you can do then you have the capability to make it happen. It's called manifesting.

Unfortunately the reverse is also true. If you believe you will fail, can't afford it, will lose that job then you most likely will. It's called the law of attraction. What you think attracts the same. When you get onto a negative thought trend you usually find a number of things to be negative about and start the roller coaster. It is that kind of negative self talk that can sabotage even the best of our intentions.

The confidence you have in performing a certain behavior is called self-efficacy and it is this that can be used to change your behaviour. Many successful people reach their goals due to coaching in positive thinking. If this has helped them then it can do the same for you. It all starts with believing in yourself that you CAN do it! If you can't do this for yourself then maybe a coach for a while will help. They can teach you how you can choose to think positive instead of negative and this will help you to feel better about yourself. They can also teach you skills in how to relax and de-stress, manage your time better, get in touch with your goals and use these to build on your career and personal life.

It is important to build small goals which are achievable and reward yourself when you do achieve them. Remember that sometimes it's ok to step backwards before you move forward. Look at the behaviours that sabotage you. Do you use the excuse of traveling for business to slacken off in your nutrition and exercise or do you have one too many cigarettes using the excuse of being tired and too many meetings? All this will affect you in a negative way and impact on your personal and business life.

Whichever it is, be honest with yourself and look at how you behave. Take a minute to consider how you might have handled things differently if things didn't go well at that last meeting. It's important not to beat yourself up about it. What is in the past can't be changed but you can learn from it and manifest a more promising future. Maybe you could have shared a business dinner at a restaurant instead of eaten at that greasy take-away? Make a mental note of what needs to change.

It is important to admit when you feel frustrated or depressed and not to ignore it. It is also important not to go into overwhelm. This makes you less productive. Understand your negative thoughts and feelings and replace them with more positive ones. So what does it take to keep you positive?

Is there someone out there that is doing what you want to be doing? Look at them as a mentor. It might entail watching how they communicate so you can communicate better or simply bringing changes to your personal lifestyle. Look at what they do, ask them how they do it and you start to do it.

Use positive head talk and avoid negative talk. Take a minute to look at all the things you do RIGHT. Tell yourself you can do it and when you get negative tell yourself you are not that person anymore and you don't have to choose to even go there. You are not the same person who lost the client last week. That was that particular client. Now is a new week. A new client and you have had millions of thoughts and feelings and inputs since then. You will never be that person again and you don't have to go back there. Move on. Have the confidence that you can make positive changes and believe that you deserve to be happy.

Get support from colleagues, friends and family. Stay around people who will back you up instead of those that silently think 'there he goes again'.Reward yourself with that briefcase you wanted, the new mobile phone, or the bubble bath, massage, CD you have wanted to buy.

Make positive plans and schedule them in your diary. Plans to eat right, exercise, meet more friends for dinner, join a club, and take that difficult client to lunch to build rapport; whatever it takes. Write down those goals and it can become an action plan to keep you on track.

Most importantly remember that the things you feel you may have done wrong is what you 'know' you did wrong. If it was a presentation then your client does not even know what you were going to say so if you missed something it's not the end of the world. Build on your confidence and motivation each day and after a few months you will find that your goals have manifested themselves…funny how that happened!

Thursday 11 February 2010

The Language of the Heart

Do you feel stressed and harassed during the day, like you're always doing things to please others rather than yourself?
• Do you have problems making decisions about insignificant matters?
• Are you unsure about what it is you really want?
• Do you find yourself doing things you really don’t want to do and continually acting out of obligation?

Part of being an adult is learning to put the needs of others, such as our children or employer, ahead of ourselves. But we can become so used to doing what we feel we should do, or living by the expectations of others that we lose touch with ourselves.
If we stop listening to our hearts voice, eventually we won't recognize it. Then we wonder why our life is so dry and un-spontaneous.

We need to re-open the conversation with our heart - to remember how to listen to our heart and not just our head.

How to recognise your hearts voice: when you're feeling stressed or that you feel you have lost your centre, ask yourself two questions,
1. “What am I feeling now?”
2. “I would like … ?”

Try to listen to the first thought – which will be from your heart –– not your head which comes in with chatter and rationalizing afterwards.
If the message from your heart is possible and practical – then do it, eg. take a break, call a friend, pop out for a coffee, jump up from your desk and shout “Yes!”.
If it is not realistic just note your hearts message until its convenient to follow through, but be careful – this habit is life changing!
Why not try following your heart and doing one spontaneous thing every day?